It’s a truism that with proper care and attention, the things we value can serve us for a very long time.

Yet, we often don’t apply this obvious truth to the things we value, e.g. to our relationships and to our health.

Millions ignore important relationships and their bodies until they get so dysfunctional that only suboptimal solutions are available, e.g. divorce or a knee replacement.

But this post is not about relationship or health advice, it’s about values; specifically about learning what to value and why.

Because the interesting thing is not that people don’t take care of what they value—in fact, people do naturally take care of what they value—it’s that people don’t value what they should.

What’s valued tends to be what gives pleasure, which is usually short-term, fleeting, and typically addictive. Drugs, social media likes, fast food, work, alcohol etc. People value the things that feel good now, but can derail life later on.

The things that should be valued, e.g. learning, relationships and health, go mostly unrecognised because they don’t give immediate reward.

Kids should be explicitly taught the difference between vice and virtues, but I expect it’s still a major missing from basic education.

If the why and how to value relationships were explicitly taught in our formative years, we all would have had classes on forgiveness, respect, trust, and negotiation etc. Instead, we got our relationship education in the school of life, which works, more or less, but was, and is, needlessly messy and costly—think lawyers and therapists.

Same with our health. PE classes do little to inculcate health as a value to young minds ignorant of the needs and possibilities of their bodies.

And what about you?

Are you giving the proper care and attention to what YOU SAY you value? How about your relationships and your health?

The good news is, it’s never too late to change.