Most people break or avoid commitments, yet for even the worst commitment breakers there are some people to whom they keep their commitments.  Perhaps it’s to a spouse, a best friend, or a boss, but to other people they don’t.

To whom do you keep your commitments?

If you reflect on the commitments you keep, you might notice something about the persons to whom you’ve made those commitments.

They have POWER!

They either have power to hurt you, like the government, or your boss, or they have power over your sense of dignity like an Uncle, a favourite teacher or best friend.

You keep your commitments to fill out your tax returns or pay your credit card on time, and you generally take care to follow through on what your boss asks of you.  There are painful consequences if you do not.

You keep your commitments to certain people like that Uncle or best friend because your sense of dignity, your sense of who you are as a person is tied up with what you think these people think of you.

 To whom do you break your commitments?

The opposite is true for the people to whom you most often break commitments or to whom you don’t obligate to in the first place.

Your willingness to make a commitment to them and then either forget, or don’t care that you did shows that

  1. you don’t respect them and
  2. you don’t think they have either the ability or willingness to hurt you for breaking your commitment.

 Who is the person you most often break your commitments to?

My guess is yourself.

I certainly know this was true for me.  Take a look at your new year resolutions and see if this is also true for you.

If you routinely beak commitments to yourself, this is an indication that you have placed yourself in that category of people for whom you don’t respect and don’t believe have any power over you.

When you break your commitment to yourself to eat well, to give up smoking, to spend more time with your kids, to do something different to spice up your life etc., etc., you demonstrate that you don’t believe you have any power over yourself and your life, and it demonstrates you don’t think very highly of yourself.

You don’t respect yourself.

Think about that the next time you let one of your personal commitments slide. If you think there is no consequence, or that it doesn’t affect your dignity, think again.

Because the most powerful person in your life, the one you should have the utmost respect for …

is you.