Have you ever listened to the pharmaceutical adverts on TV?  As the soothing voice says,

“Absolv, when taken immediately after upsetting your partner, can bring on expressions of contriteness that a puppy would envy.  Clinical studies have shown that 77% of Absolv users are forgiven for extreme transgressions including not sharing with housework, coming home drunk, forgetting an anniversary … etc.”

Then as the voice-over fades and the images of couples hugging fill the screen, the rapid-fire disclaimer voice kicks in

“Absolv has been linked to murder, child molestation, kidnapping, graffiti, flatulence, and Turrets Syndrome.  If you are healthy and have a conscience, you should not take Absolv.”

We need the same disclaimer voice for the opinions that people swallow as truth.  After someone states an opinion “Well I think the government is blah, blah, blah, and that the minister (Congressman), blah, blah, blah because he was guilty of blah, blah, blah.” We should have a recording come on like the drug commercials. In the same rapid-fire disclaimer voice, it would say,

“The stream of consciousness you are hearing is based on conjecture, hearsay, and the utterances or writings of other individuals who may have a personal or political agenda in having people accept this position.  The speaker is speaking with an authority he does not possess; in fact, he has no evidence whatsoever to back up what he’s saying, and he is unwilling to even consider that his statements could be even slightly off the mark.   You should challenge these viewpoints, or at least have the speaker acknowledge he is merely stating his opinion.”

People would probably ignore them in the same way that they ignore warnings that smoking causes lung cancer or that taking a particular drug might cause their penis to fall off, but it would at least be fair disclosure.  Plus, it might be funny. Imagine the person looking around for where the disclaimer voice is coming from.

You Are Entitled to Your Opinion—but Keep it Leashed

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but not to let them roam free, unmuzzled and with not even a dog tag to let people know to whom this pit bull belongs.  Opinions become very dangerous indeed when trotted out as if they are based on truth, and not on the spurious assumptions they usually stand upon.  That’s why opinions are only a step below gossip in their destructive power.

And no matter how hard you try, you can’t get rid of opinions. The minute you settle into a conversation, opinions turn up. Indeed, opinions are the mosquitoes of conversation; except you rarely get the satisfaction of killing someone’s opinion, and that’s because people tie their opinions to their reputation, even to their identity. That’s why it’s all about defending whatever they’ve said because to admit a mistake is to admit they are not smart people, and we can’t …have … that.

Consider the following:

When you share opinions without regard for how they may influence the thoughts and actions of others, and without acknowledging that they are just your opinions; then you are engaging in a form of gossip.

Most people share their opinions to win converts to their ‘side’ and hence win advocates for their worldview.  That their worldview may only be part of the truth or completely inaccurate is never considered or discussed.

No one teaches our children the meanings and consequences of assuming, assessing, opining, and gossiping.  More often, they’re taught to accept authority and to value knowing the right answers rather than developing the skill of asking good questions:

  • Is this true or not?
  • How can I know if it is?
  • How does the speaker know it is true or not?
  • Can I trust the speaker?
  • What secret agendas might the speaker have that might make me question what s/he has to say?

Remember: just because everyone in the room nods in agreement, doesn’t mean you’re right.