“This is a gel Sir. And you’re not allowed to take more than 3.4 ozs of gel on board,” said the security officer as I avoided his gaze. I could feel the irritation rising up within me. After all, I had gone through several airport security checkpoints with said gel and had never been questioned. Now this bozo was doing his job and taking away my expensive hair gel.
“Then why was …,” I stopped myself.
“Never mind,” I said and focused on his continuing rummage through my toiletries.
He finished and told me I could go. As I repacked my things I was aware of the familiar tenseness in my body. That rigidity that comes from being angry or really irritated at some perceived injustice.
Then I remembered a discussion I had with my friend Natalie only the night before.
We were discussing our reactions to things that go wrong when we’re in nature vs. when we’re among people (in man-made settings). We both acknowledged how angry we tend to get when another human being does something “stupid” or irresponsible like cut us off in traffic.
Contrast that reaction to the reaction we have when something goes wrong in nature, particularly when it’s nature who is the perpetrator.
For example, you’re hiking up a trail and discover a landslide blocking your path.
How do you react?
Natalie and I both agreed that in that situation we just deal with it. Turn around, find another path etc.
We do not get angry at the landslide.
I do not have a lot of experience camping but I know lots of campers, and I expect that their reaction to things that thwart their intentions in nature are markedly different from their reactions to things that thwart their intentions when they’re back in the city.
I prefer the nature reaction myself.
Getting irritated, angry or otherwise upset does nothing except ruin relationships and damage health.
In extreme situations people do physical harm to each other. And for what? A tube of hair gel?A raised eyebrow or middle finger?
In any given situation, or moment in time, people will do what they do.
Their actions and responses are beyond your control.
Just like a landslide occurring or the rain falling. When I think of it that way I realize it’s just as inappropriate to get upset with the guy that cuts me off in traffic as it is to get upset at the landslide.
I just take the appropriate action to honor my original intent e.g. get to work, or the top of a hill. I just deal with the changing circumstance that is not directed at me personally.
And this last has really been interesting to observe in myself.
When something interrupts my plans, my first reaction is to take it personally. I can no longer do what I want, go where I want, have what I want. After all it’s all about me isn’t it? 😉
I remembered this conversation as I walked away from the security checkpoint and took a deep breath.
I could let my hair gel go, and acknowledge that this poor guy is doing his best to keep us all safe and his biggest challenge is less with terrorists and more with selfish assholes like me.
A little further I almost walked into a woman who had suddenly stopped to check for something in her bag. In a millisecond I felt the surge of irritation begin, and then I remembered the landslide. I smiled and let it go.